September 16, 2011
Hola mis amigos!!
Hola mis amigos!!
Well for some of you that don't know I decided to do a 7 month trip down to South America starting in Ecuador. Since I won't be working in the oilfields for awhile (next April) I thought I would have a little adventure down in South America, learn some spanish, get into shape and a few other things.
I got a flight to Ecuador with Continental airlines and was surprised with how cheap they are. No free meals on that 4+ hour flight to Houston except for food for sale and no free movies or TV watching where they have a credit card you can swipe in front of the seat in front of you for $5.99 for 2 hours of viewing or $7.99 if your flight is longer. Just nickel and diming the passengers and I didn't see one passenger exchange money on that flight. Not only that but they charged me $45 for my second suitcase which I was unaware of since my travel agent (flight center) said only on the flight back in Peru would they charge $50 for the second suitcase but I should have read the fine print myself instead of relying on them. Don't think it would have changed anything though. They gave a chinsey little meal on the Houston to Quito flight which was 5 hours long.
There was a huge line up at customs in Quito with different flights arriving at the same time. I had made prior arrangements from my hotel to have a guy pick me up at the airport where they would wave a sign with my name on it when I left customs but I didn't see any sign that had my name on it and I waited around for 20 minutes checking different signs but no sign saying "Kevin". So I left the building where taxi drivers and touts were directing me to their taxis and mini vans and I just went with one who didn't speak a word of english as he grabbed my luggage without asking and then I found out he only knew one word of english which was "Tip!". A tip for moving my bags 20 feet.
There was a huge line up at customs in Quito with different flights arriving at the same time. I had made prior arrangements from my hotel to have a guy pick me up at the airport where they would wave a sign with my name on it when I left customs but I didn't see any sign that had my name on it and I waited around for 20 minutes checking different signs but no sign saying "Kevin". So I left the building where taxi drivers and touts were directing me to their taxis and mini vans and I just went with one who didn't speak a word of english as he grabbed my luggage without asking and then I found out he only knew one word of english which was "Tip!". A tip for moving my bags 20 feet.
I don't trust anyone in these types of countries since I know us white folks (Gringos) are seen only as walking ATM machines so I pretended I didn't understand his english but then gave him $1US and he didn't seem pleased (I guess the rich Americans are use to giving him $5US+ for little effort. This type of behaviour is what instills in them the idea that Gringos are walking ATM machines and why we have to pay white man tax everywhere.
There were some older Americans in this mini van I took and I guess after talking with them they were all in Quito for some religious conference and they all knew each other even though they were all from different places in the US like Pennsylvania, seattle, Texas, etc... Their hotel had made transportation arrangements for them so it was all a done deal but none of these drivers spoke a word of english and no matter what I said they nodded indicating they would take me there even if I said I wanted to go to the planet "pop tart" they would say "no problemo, we will get you there". Not very reassuring! Anyhow, after talking to these religious Americans I thought going with them into downtown Quito can't be that bad as I at least closer to my destination and if the driver tried to play a money game with me at the last minute (which they do) like it cost $30US I would just laugh and walk away since my pre arranged taxi was $12US just for me. Well he took us to the Hilton hotel which didn't look very luxurious as they do in the states and I went into the hotel to speak with a bilingual hotel worker who told the driver where I wanted to go which was just 5 minutes away and he took me there.
I was amazed while we drove into Quito from the airport at what a shit hole Quito is. I just saw slums on the way in with no lights on and no one on the street. Not a single person at 11:40pm and it was like a ghost town. My first impressions was shock and I was kicking myself that I didn't just get a round trip ticket to Costa Rica as I had originally planned. I thought if this is Ecuador there is no way I will last even 3 months here, not to mention 6 months on my tourist visa.
Well he dropped me off at my budget hotel of $12.50US per night (typical Kevster special) and he buzzed the metal door and spoke in spanish where it seemed everything was OK so I gave the guy $10US and he said "Yeah amigo!!" and I proceeded through the metal door after being buzzed in and walking down a walled 3 foot wide alley in the pitch black for 50 feet until I came to a big metal door that looked like the door to Jabba the Huts palace from the movie "The return of the Jedi". It was a huge metal door and it was pitch black in this narrow alley where I couldn't see anything with no lights on so being at this locked big metal door I said somewhat loudly "Hola!! Hola!!" and then held my breath for the next 5 minutes as I intently listened for any movement inside the building and there was NONE!! At that point a premonition quickly flashed into my mind where they failed to pick me up at the airport (they must have forgot) and probably failed to remember that I was arriving at midnight (probably forgot again and fell asleep) and my imagination told me I would probably be sleeping in this small dark alley until morning when they woke up and at that realization I began to panick and screamed out "FUCKING HOLA!!!!!". Just in case spanish speakers don't understand what I just said, that means open the fuckin door NOW!!!!!!
I was having what George Canstanzas father off of the sitcom Seinfeld calls a "Serenity now!" moment. Relieving stress. So after saying that I held my breath again to listen in the silence of any movement inside the building and there was NONE! At that time I heard my driver revving up his mini van probably getting ready to head back to the airport so I dropped my luggage and sprinted the 50 feet in the narrow pitch black alley to get to the first entrance door and I sprinted so fast that Ben Johnson would have had a hard time keeping up and just as I arrived at the original first door to open it to wave down the driver someone shouted from the other big metal door that they were there so I returned as he led me through the big metal door and as we began to ascend the stairs he reached for my luggage to help and knowing how they operate by moving my suitcases 10 feet and then expecting a tip I said I was fine and we would probably get there faster if I carried them. It seemed like a good plan at the time but I didn't realize I would be going up 5 flights of stairs to reach the $12.50US penthouse suite at which time I thought if he carried my bags that definitely would have been worth a tip.
He showed me the room and it was exactly like the pictures on their website. This young guy Carlos didn't speak a word of english as he said "Manana, manana" and I said "Si, si, manana" meaning I would pay for the room in the morning since it was midnight and he could go back to sleep. The room was a typical Kevinder special but I was comfortable and got value for my money haha. It had hot water and a private bathroom and even an extra bunk bed if I wanted to bring in some friends haha.
He showed me the room and it was exactly like the pictures on their website. This young guy Carlos didn't speak a word of english as he said "Manana, manana" and I said "Si, si, manana" meaning I would pay for the room in the morning since it was midnight and he could go back to sleep. The room was a typical Kevinder special but I was comfortable and got value for my money haha. It had hot water and a private bathroom and even an extra bunk bed if I wanted to bring in some friends haha.
I got up at 10am and heading down where a spanish woman greeted me on the 4th floor on my way down to reception where she guided me down. They knew who I was and I met Jose who speaks very good english and he was the one I was emailing with before making arrangements. They have a spanish school here where they teach people spanish 1 on 1 for $6 an hour. Listening in the morning I could tell they were good classes and all the instructors are qualified and have degrees and certificates to teach spanish. If they were located in Cuenca I would probably join. I was told even with a 6 month tourist visa that I would still need to obtain a CENSO card within 30 days of arriving in Ecuador and not having one would cause problems and big fines from what I researched. Even the Ecuador consulate said it was a money grab of $10US but everyone needs to get it.
So to see Quito I decided to walk to the CENSO CARD place after Jose gave me a map and instructions on how to get there (Which was the directions of the Ecuador embassy guy in Vancouver and was out dated info). I got to the area after a 45 minute walk and asked a nearby security guard the address and he pointed me in another direction and as I was walking in the other direction my instincts told me to get a second opinion since I don't trust any of them even if they mean well. Well I walked in the direction I was told and then decide to ask another security guard since I have heard you can get 10 different answers with one specific question and I had just shown them the address in spanish that the Ecuador consulate had given me and the second security guard pointed me in a different direction since I knew I was at the right intersection and could tell by the look in his eye that he actually KNEW! (When they pause and scratch their head is when you have to doubt their info).
So I took his advice and went his way and found it and knocked on the door since there were many spanish people in there but the door was locked and no one wanted to get up and I saw a different entrance through the windows and tried to get there but it was impossible to get there from both sides of the building. Sure, I felt like shaking the locked glass door and shouting out another "Fuckin HOLA!!!!" but I wasn't that desperate yet and didn't think these people had anything to do with CENSO cards by the look on their faces. There was no way of reaching the back door which looked like the regular entrance I came back to the front and just pressed my nose up against the glass peering in at them with that "I am a lost gringo" look on my face and I stared at each one in the eyes for a moment before looking at the next Ecuadorian as they seemed puzzled by my behaviour and a young fellow came over and unlocked the door to see what I wanted. I told him I wanted a CENSO CARD for Ecuador and he took me to the vacant office next door which had a sign in spanish saying that they had moved to a different location and I thanked him and told him I could read spanish but not verbal spanish.
So I took his advice and went his way and found it and knocked on the door since there were many spanish people in there but the door was locked and no one wanted to get up and I saw a different entrance through the windows and tried to get there but it was impossible to get there from both sides of the building. Sure, I felt like shaking the locked glass door and shouting out another "Fuckin HOLA!!!!" but I wasn't that desperate yet and didn't think these people had anything to do with CENSO cards by the look on their faces. There was no way of reaching the back door which looked like the regular entrance I came back to the front and just pressed my nose up against the glass peering in at them with that "I am a lost gringo" look on my face and I stared at each one in the eyes for a moment before looking at the next Ecuadorian as they seemed puzzled by my behaviour and a young fellow came over and unlocked the door to see what I wanted. I told him I wanted a CENSO CARD for Ecuador and he took me to the vacant office next door which had a sign in spanish saying that they had moved to a different location and I thanked him and told him I could read spanish but not verbal spanish.
So I walked back the way I came and realized the new office was actually quite close to where my hotel was and of course didn't think anyone would speak english in this government office (I mean that would make it too damn easy for Gringos). The fact that no one speaks english here makes it a perfect place to learn spanish as it forces you into SPANISH IMMERSION immediately. I have some CDs that I bought that I believe are much better than the Rosetta Stone and other language teaching CDs and it is VISUAL LINKS SPANISH which is my type of learning with visual demonstrations.
Anyhow I find the new CENSO CARD building and am waiting in line at the information desk. As I am now only 2 people away from the front desk clerk and think that she can't speak english I glance around to see any white faces and see a young white woman behind me and ask her if she speaks spanish and she nods her head to say no that she doesn't speak english and then her Ecuadorian boyfriend behind her tries to be helpful and in broken engish says "can you speak dutch?" and I graciously say "Muchas gracious" and indicate that any of his efforts on my behalf will not help me in the least LOL! To my surprise the desk clerk speaks english and takes my passport and gives me a waiting number of R60 and that I have to now wait to be called up. As I am waiting a really nice Ecuadorian man comes up to me after I have been sitting 10 minutes and is talking in spanish and I know he is trying to help me by showing his card and I show him my card and he tells me it is my turn to go up as it just turns to R60. I go up not knowing which booth out of 7 booths to go to and the first woman just shrugs her shoulders with a blank stare in her eyes which is not helping me in the least and then I go to the next clerk and they start speaking in spanish and none of them speaks a word of english (I am sorry but if it is a government office that deals with foreigners and wants money from us they should all be bilingual). Anyhow he is trying to tell me that I need to photocopy my passport and other documents that are inside of it and being from a 1st world country that is efficient at handling these sorts of problems I am surprised they want $10US on this money grab yet don't have a photocopier to do what they ask from everyone and the task is put on me to complete it by finding a photocopier so I can jump through all their hoops and pay them $10US for something I don't believe I should even have to get after paying $230US for a 6 month visa!
Anyhow I go back to the english speaking clerk and just bud to the front of the long line since there is no way in hell I am waiting another 30 minutes just to endure more of their ineptness and after I explain to her what he told me at the booth she apologizes for not telling me this originally and explains that I have to go out and get photocopies of my passport on various pages even though I have the originals of everything they want but it is still up to me to get the photocopies for them because they are too cheap to buy a photocopier and prefer wasting everyones time in the waiting room to jump through all these hoops. I have to bite my tongue and refrain from a good old fashion "FUCKIN HOLA" nervous break down routine. And on top of that I have to go find a specific bank (Banco International) and deposit the $10US fee and get a receipt from them (since the Ecuador government no longer trusts any of there employees to take cash since the Vancouver consulate had warned me about them pocketing the money themselves and over charging gringos). So I leave and said what a waste of 4 hours. And they wonder why they aren't a first world country. THEY LACK EFFICIENCY!!!!! They are not paid much so their is no incentive to think and make a better system.
Anyhow I go back to the english speaking clerk and just bud to the front of the long line since there is no way in hell I am waiting another 30 minutes just to endure more of their ineptness and after I explain to her what he told me at the booth she apologizes for not telling me this originally and explains that I have to go out and get photocopies of my passport on various pages even though I have the originals of everything they want but it is still up to me to get the photocopies for them because they are too cheap to buy a photocopier and prefer wasting everyones time in the waiting room to jump through all these hoops. I have to bite my tongue and refrain from a good old fashion "FUCKIN HOLA" nervous break down routine. And on top of that I have to go find a specific bank (Banco International) and deposit the $10US fee and get a receipt from them (since the Ecuador government no longer trusts any of there employees to take cash since the Vancouver consulate had warned me about them pocketing the money themselves and over charging gringos). So I leave and said what a waste of 4 hours. And they wonder why they aren't a first world country. THEY LACK EFFICIENCY!!!!! They are not paid much so their is no incentive to think and make a better system.
So I go back to my hotel and talk to Jose and he says no problem and gets one of his staff to take my passport and photocopy what they want and even gives me a special folder listed on the instructions in spanish that is required of each applicant for a censo card. I told the english speaking woman that it says on the tourist visa that people "should" get a censo card on my tourist visa and that means it is not mandatory and even the Vancouver Ecuador consulate said I should get it just in case I don't have my passport on me if asked by police but she tells me I can't leave Ecuador without a Censo card which basically just registers your visa in some data base and I have heard people getting fine $200US for not having one after 30 days upon entry. FUCKIN HOLA I say to that!!
Well I will be doing this on Thurdays now. Their traffic walk signs are not very clear here. I saw a digital white man very faintly at the cross walk and thought it was OK to walk and as I was halfway across the street, cars the digital white man disappeared and all the cars started moving not caring I was still walking. Over here a pedestrian doesn't have the right of way. They will simply run you down and not care. No one stops for pedestrians and Ecuadorian pedestrians run for their lives when vehicles are approaching. Quito is very similar to Mexico City but not as slumy. During the day Quito is much nicer than what I saw from the way in from the Airport on Tuesday night. Some pedestrian signs give you the seconds you have to cross (like 40 seconds and counting down) and shows a man slowly walking with his legs moving and when you are down to 5 seconds left the little white digital mans legs start moving quicking from a slow walk to a fast sprint meaning you better be off the road in 5 seconds or you are going to be road kill! I sure don't like to put down another country or culture coming from a 1st world country where things are run efficiently but everywhere you look you just roll your eyes that this society doesn't understand efficiency even though they have other countries to learn from. They love their horns and honk at everything that moves. It is just part of their culture here.
Earlier in the day I was hunting for the Censo card office and wanted a coffee and saw a Dunkin Donuts shop in a newer looking modern commerical building and thought yeah that would be a good pit stop for a coffee and boston cream donut. I told the woman "Cafe con leche Y Boston Cream". Well she grabbed a small styrofoam cup and before she got to the coffee dispenser I said "No! quiero un cafe grande por favor" meaning I want the big cup for the coffee and she shook her head and said "no" firmly where I knew at that moment I was dealing with a coffee nazi. I am like.... "OK then...proceed". I had to go along with it because I really needed caffeine and could see her saying "You want coffee?? NO COFFEE FOR YOU!! NEXT!". I guess I was thinking the Boston cream would be like they are in Canada but it was actually quite gross. Ecuador is one of the biggest producers of Cocoa which makes chocolate but this Boston cream tasted cheap and horrible and the chocolate on top was the worst part of it. That was definitely $2.50US down the tube even though the small coffee was OK. For the next couple hours I could still taste that terrible Boston cream in my mouth and it put me off of food for the rest of the day. I certainly don't want to come across as the ugly American but there are just so many things to complain about here.
Earlier in the day I was hunting for the Censo card office and wanted a coffee and saw a Dunkin Donuts shop in a newer looking modern commerical building and thought yeah that would be a good pit stop for a coffee and boston cream donut. I told the woman "Cafe con leche Y Boston Cream". Well she grabbed a small styrofoam cup and before she got to the coffee dispenser I said "No! quiero un cafe grande por favor" meaning I want the big cup for the coffee and she shook her head and said "no" firmly where I knew at that moment I was dealing with a coffee nazi. I am like.... "OK then...proceed". I had to go along with it because I really needed caffeine and could see her saying "You want coffee?? NO COFFEE FOR YOU!! NEXT!". I guess I was thinking the Boston cream would be like they are in Canada but it was actually quite gross. Ecuador is one of the biggest producers of Cocoa which makes chocolate but this Boston cream tasted cheap and horrible and the chocolate on top was the worst part of it. That was definitely $2.50US down the tube even though the small coffee was OK. For the next couple hours I could still taste that terrible Boston cream in my mouth and it put me off of food for the rest of the day. I certainly don't want to come across as the ugly American but there are just so many things to complain about here.
After all this BS running around and getting nowhere I decided to check out a Super Maxi store and do some food shopping since none of the local restaurants seemed to satisfy and I didn't see much I could pick up that didn't require cooking so I settled on some cheese since it looked like the cheese back home and saw some liqueur that was "Creme de cacao" (Cream of chocolate liqueur) for only $10US and looked for milk in this big super market and only saw a 4 liter thing of milk (leche) which I didn't want to pack back to my hotel and didn't want to refrigerate it and wanted just enough for a liqueur and cheese party by myself up on the patio outside of my room so the only smaller one was "leche de soy" (Soy milk). So I was going to make brown cows with liqueur and soy milk. I tried the soy and didn't like it as a milk substitute but it worked with the liqueur to make my brown cows as I sat down on my 5th floor $12.50US penthouse balcony over looking the slums of Quito as I relaxed and sipped my liqueur drink and reflected on the fact that I was so happy that I wasn't born here LOL!
I haven't even been here for 24hours and I just want to bitch and wine. I am going to give it a few days in Quito and then get a bus ticket to Cuenca Ecuador which has always been my main destination for Ecuador.
Today (Thursday) I returned to the CENSO card place and left my passport with them and have to pick it up on Friday morning. Went to McDonalds for a coffee since you can always rely on Micky D's for good coffee. I noticed the Mcdonalds security guard packing a pistol in his holster.
Looking at purchasing a bus ticket out to Cuenca for either Friday night or Saturday night since it leaves at 10pm every night. I don't really have much of an itinerary plan but just winging it as I go and staying at places I like or moving onto another city. I am going to give Ecuador at least a month and if I get tired of it I will just move onto Peru and maybe check out Bolivia and Chile and then get a ticket to Costa Rica before returning to Canada in April.
As usual, you are all my virtual tourists riding in my backpack.
Hasta la vista baby!
Kevin
